Self-Indulge a Little! (But Not Too Much, You Don’t Want to be an Egotistical Narcissist). [A Guest Post]

By Saturday, November 26, 2016 No tags Permalink 3

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Hey Mister P! I am an American INFJ (so a little less tactful but still just as introverted)! I stumbled upon your blog because I believe I have yet to meet a male INFJ and wondered if you were much like unicorns–awesome but extinct. I enjoyed reading your articles and pulled a piece from my own blog to send to you. Don’t feel any need to post it, I just thought you might get a kick out of one INFJ’s feelings with taking the MB test for the first time.

Thanks so much!


As someone who both enjoys and loathes writing, I struggle to find topics to write about. Yet I am an English major, so write I must (you know, to continue the cliché). Many people tell me I need to start a blog; I need to post my work to a more public forum; I need to exhibit my writing….blah blah. I think to myself, “Well, that critical theoretical reading of Flannery O’Connor’s Parker’s Back’ was really quite superb.” Unfortunately, most people do not care to read about my argument of Jesus’s disgust with fundamental Christianity just to get a sense of my writing style. I’ve been told I have a “strong sense of voice” and yet it can come off as “self-indulgent” (another reason to avoid a blog like a plague).

So I need an ulterior motive past bettering and publishing my writing. I guess I am trying to establish some sense of self, and in that process maybe help others do the same. Developing your writing style is connected to developing your “sense of Self” (if you are familiar with Jung). So I started in the same place as every 22-year-old college woman: with a jar of Nutella, an episode of Grey’s Anatomy, and the Myers-Briggs personality test. I try to focus. After all, I’ll take help from wherever it is offered. The test promises to deliver the life-changing results in under 12 minutes, so I think “Ah, what the hell!”

Well, I am a slow test taker, so after 15 minutes the test dishes out the advice. I am (drum roll please) INFJ: The Counselor. The Advocate. The Protector. Mirror Mirror On The Wall, I Am The Rarest Of Them All.

Lovely. I didn’t need a test to tell me what a “special little bee” I am–I had two doting parents for that when I was six. Yet I continued reading and found many of the findings to be true, and almost a little relieving. I do, in fact, take relationships extremely seriously. I do not have an abundance of friends, but the ones I do have I’d trust to bail me out of jail, no questions asked. I am an introvert disguised as a slight extrovert. Maybe this test isn’t so stupid after all?

What’s my point? I suppose it’s to enjoy a little introspection. Try to learn about yourself. As college students, and quite frankly as humanity, we are expected to learn about the world: study this, read that, memorize these. In being human, we have signed up as chronic learners, so why not “treat yo’self” and learn a little about you. Even if the test is not spot on, it will force you to ask yourself the questions, “Is this true about me?” and possibly even answer them. In turn, you might be able to communicate a little better and explain your wants, needs, and expectations in relation to your personality and character. Enjoy the process of becoming who you are. You’re a special little bee.


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